It occured to me this afternoon that the route to happiness I described in my 1st Happiness article has a paradoxical flavour. The very ellusiveness of happiness, being achieved by an attitude of mind rather than from events or things is in the end its robust saviour, making it immune from events in your life.
Consider a couple saying to themselves that when we get the extension completed and sort out the dog infection, then things will be more ship shape and life will be back on an even keel and happiness will ensue.
Or when you get to the other side of a bad bout of flu, life will be rosy again.
We keep waiting for greener grass. If we simply accept the colour of grass we have now, then happiness will follow.
Acceptance seems to be a very pivotal psychological method. Vendettas, vengence, a sense of injustice are our instinctive behaviours, at least some of the time.
On a slightly different note, when some problem manifests itself, try to accept that it has happened, and see how you can focus on resloving or learning from the problem, rather than dwell on the bad emotions that follow the event.
For example, having completed my book teaching the Oriental game of Go, I saw a review of a game I had on the Internet. It was particularly demeaning of my play. I naturally got upset. But, as has been my way, the emotions were so strong that I dwelt on them, and on the possible consequences – am I really a legitimate Go book author? Will my words mean that much to a beginner. I lost confidence in this book project.
Uncharactersitically, I chose to turn the problem around. I have had a number of copies of my book draft printed, and will now seek feedback from the intended audience. Better for beginners to tell me if my book for beginners helps them learn the game than guess that I am on the right track.
Problems can become leverages to new things, rather than sources of negative contemplation.