Having a preference for ladies with, let’s say, relative plump posteriors, it was just my luck that my last girlfriend was Chinese with a pancake bottom.

I sustained the relationship enough to visit her family in China and to witness first hand shed-loads of flat-bottomed Chinese ladies in the streets of Shanghai.

Despite being relatively slim, I have always had a fairly plump backside. Now here is my little theory – that genetics predisposes the Chinese to have a slim bottoms since they are historically very industrious on physical matters, such as farming. But for myself , I suspect that I have a cushioned backside for the simple reason that the I spend most of my time sat at a computer.

Genetics can explain the Chinese tendency, but does the body enhance the bottom when it is used a lot? It would surely make sense since horse riders are renowned for large backsides. Use it or lose it is the body’s modus operandi.

To redistribute the fat around my body, I should probably get off my fat backside and do some gardening!